The Cattle Herd

Today I went to a jo.b fair.. better known as a cattle herd. Although I wasn’t on a farm.. and it wasn’t dudes on horses directing us.. that’s what the fuck it felt like.

One the biggest growing companies in Detroit had a job fair today. I need not say their name.. but most could figure it out. After a road closing and crazy detour, I get in the area of the place.  I couldn’t find the designated parking lot.. so I had to pay to park -_-

The line to get in the building is outside. It’s clear that most of Metro Detroit was attending this job fair. Once inside.. folks are given a mini clip board with a registration form to fill out. Nothing crazy, just your contact information and how you found out about the fair. As I fill out this form, I’m still walking in line.. we get to this point where you have to get your resume stapled to the form.

At this point.. I’m really feeling like Pookie when G-Money gave him the tour of the Carter..

Up the elevator we go to a floor that I think is the cafeteria. I wait for my name to be called overhead by a guy that was butchering EVERYONE’S  name. They offer random drinks and seating for folks.. I chose to stand. As I’m people watching.. I see that people really give no fucks about what they wear to meet a potential employer. It was chicks with cut sleeve shirts.. tight ass skirts. Dudes with jeans and random polo style shirts with gym shoes.

Once your name get called.. you line up to meet with a recruiter to do your “interview”. After meeting her, we go in to this big ass room that has tons of interviews going on. Its nothing private and discrete about this process. The girl I had didn’t even work in HR. She just seemed to be a random volunteer and I really felt that my time was wasted. Being that my background isn’t exactly fit for the company.. she really didn’t know what to do. From the description the job fair advertised, recruiters were suppose to gauge what would be a great fit based on your resume. not the case.

After that meeting.. you lead on a tour with some other employees. I’ll say this, the work atmosphere was really cool. Every station had duel monitors.. mechanical desk that raised and lowered by the push of a button. So you could stand at your desk if you wanted, or sat down and still be at eye level with the monitors. With bright colored walls and cool chairs.. it seems that folks that work there really enjoy the space.

The company advertised that they were looking to hire 500 people. Did that mean that they were gonna hire 500 yesterday, tomorrow.. within 2 years? Classic wordplay for great publicity and a awesome turnout. Who knows if I even get a call back.. I’ll just chalk it up as a trial run in practicing for interviews… and great people watching.

OLSW

Seperated =/= Single

So..

Some years back, i hit the bar solo to catch some game that was on. I get there.. and its these 2 older women I ended up sitting near them. One was blah, the other was nice looking. At some point, I ended up striking up conversation with the 2 ladies. Both were super kind. We bought rounds of drinks most the night. At the end of the night, We all were like “lets all get together sometime”. I really didnt totally mean it, but i figured, what the hell..

I exchanged numbers with the better looking one. Shes like in her mid 40′s. Mind you.. im not old, lol. She tells me that she’s separated and on the verge of divorcing. That was the red flag I ignored. We talk and text for about a week or so. She tells me that her and her husband still lives together.. just not in the same bed.

Again, i chose to ignore this blatant as red flag.

We decide to meet up for drinks. She gets there.. looking fine as all hell. We’re having a ball. Good conversation.. all that. Then… We were sitting on bar like stools. She was facing me with her legs in between mines. All kinds of frolicking.

All of a sudden, I hear this stern male voice like “whats going on here?” I tipsy as hell.. but i know this isnt good. I look up and he starts talking to her. She tells him its none his business. Its her husband. Worst awkward moment ever. So now im standing up because I just want to leave.

I mean.. Im not fighting this man over his wife. Does not make any sense. Now, im standing between him and her. I say “ima just go..”. The easiest way was to walk between them. He wasn’t having that.

He says “nah, you not going this way.”. So now im like fuck.. I may in fact have to hit this dude.

I decide that Im not fighting this man. I kinda go back around the stool and walk the other direction. I dip. Im walking to my ride.. pissed but happy it didn’t turn into a bigger problem. She calls me about 20 minutes after.. crying and apologizing. I tell her its cool (don’t know why I said that).. and she wants to come by just because she didnt want to go home.

Me thinking with my homie below, I say cool.

She comes over and we talk for awhile. Now, im worried that he followed her over. I could have just told her not to come over, but what fun would that have been? And I guess a partial apology was her wanting to give me head. Im not in any position to decline, so yeah..

So the next day.. I look up her husband on Facebook. I was so buzzed, I couldn’t really remember what he looked like. I needed to know what this guy looked like in case I saw this guy out in public. We continue to mess around for maybe 2 months. We’d do dinner and drinks mostly.. She paid every time.

Who doesn’t like to be treated?

After a while, she began to have these crazy feelings. But im like.. you’re still married. How can you demand more from me? But I was loving being treated and random gifts. Like.. during our time, it was around black friday. She bought me like 3 or 4 Tigers fitteds. Folks that know me know I LOVE my Tigers fitteds.

So finally.. she ended it. She wanted more.. And it just wasnt gonna work out. Plus, she was still married. Whats so crazy is that she sent me a text on my birthday.. shocked that she remembered it. I can’t fuck with her anymore though. Although..nah, never mind. I just cant. Between being wined and dined and good sex.. I was ignoring all kinds of shit like what if her hubby ran up on me wanting to put his paws on me.

My advice to yall… don’t fuck with married folks.

OLSW

O’s 21 Rules for Twitter

“I been in this game for years, it made me a animal
It’s rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual
A step by step booklet for you to get
Your game on track, not your wig pushed back” – Notorious B.I.G.

 

Hola!

In a random act of tweeting.. I posted what I thought were good rules/suggestions for living this twitter life. Being about these twitter streets for almost 4 years.. I’ve learned a ton. Most of which is common sense. Nevertheless.. some things are worth repeating.

So here goes…

1. Pick your battles wisely. Some folks are ready to debate at a moments notice for ANYTHING.

2. Use your mutes/filters frequently. Control your timeline. Unfollow when needed.

3. Refrain from Beyonce slander. Her followers are deep and ready to roll. Justin Bieber as well.

4. Don’t react.

5. Follow rule 4.

6. Beware of  most Grammar tweeps. They have nothing else to do but expose your flaws.

7. Tweeps use the term ‘Nerd’ often. Ignore it.. it means nothing.

8. Know that what folks “give no fucks” about.. really care about said subject.

9. Watch for baited arguments. Don’t fall for the trap.

10. All local tweeps are not worth following.

11. Hit dogs holla. Most folks will tell on themselves when you’re not even speaking on them.

12. Keyboard thuggin happens. Don’t even trip. Same things tweeted wouldn’t happen in real life.

13. Foursquare is a gift and a curse. Use wisely.

14. Locked accounts are like humping with clothes on. No one cares.

15. Twitter rarely separates church and state. Enter those conversations with caution.

16. A Retweet does NOT equal a cosign. Ask for clarification if needed.

17. Don’t mix facebook and Twitter. Iown even talk about Twitter on facebook.

18. Don’t worry about follows. Tweet for interaction.

19. Behave yourself. Screen shots are real as hell.

20. Don’t leak nudes.

21. See number 20. It’s real yo.

There you have it.

It’s really not 21.. some are repeated for importance. But, as you can see.. its no real written laws to this shit. Its just some things I’ve seen over the years and figured you guys could stand to prosper in twife.. (see what I did there?)

Also, follow me on Twitter @__otis__ (underscore underscore otis underscore underscore)

OLSW

New Losses, But Never Alone

My last post was titled “Come on 2013, This month sucks..”. Had I waited another week, I could have made it a much longer post.

When I got the call that my dad was gone, It was almost like a movie. Im at home, cleaning up..listening to some music. The actual song was:

If you’ve heard the song.. you know its a pretty upbeat.

I see that my uncle is calling. He’s typically long winded, and I was about to send him to voice mail… but I was curious as to why he was calling me this morning. He says “O, I have some bad news.”. I knew it was my dad or grandma.. one of the two. When he said it was my dad, I had this feeling I’ve never experienced before. It was like I left my body and was looking at myself as i was taking this news on the phone. I hung up. I just cried. I felt so bad. Although I knew his days was numbered with his drug use, I just thought he was live longer. I told my uncle that I wanted to be the one to tell my sister. I wanted to wait until she was off work, but word was traveling faster than I wanted it too. My mom and I goes up to her job. Today, shes happy as hell.. which makes this news I’m about to drop on her even harder to do. I tell her, and she just breaks down crying. I cry again. Its just a water works session.

The initial story was that he was just found dead in a field. He had went missing early January. I knew none of this until the day I found out he passed. I hadn’t talked to him since early December. It was common for him to drift off for a few days when he was using. He’d resurface after his money and the high was gone. I assume that why my fam never told me that he was missing. It was all kinds of speculation as to how he died. The medical examiners report wasn’t complete, so any theories we had weren’t based on truths.

I got the police report and it never talked about homicide. He had drug paraphernalia on him when he was found. My thoughts were did he get beat to death over some drugs? Did he use too much? I really just wanted to know the truth.

My dad’s wife asked me to speak at the funeral. I was honored and scared at the same time. I had a week to prepare..although I didn’t really start preparing until 2 days before. At the funeral, I told the guests that I forgave my father years ago for the lack of presence he had in my life.. and encouraged them to forgive those to has hurt them. I shared about how although he wasn’t in my life much, I was never fatherless. I had many men in my life that helped me become who I am today. From coaches, mentors, other fathers.. I was never without a dad figure. Finally.. I told them that my last dealings with my dad were good.. no grudges or anything.. and for that, I am happy.

We didn’t get word on how my dad died until after the funeral. He overdosed on heroine. I had some peace knowing that it wasn’t someone else that took his like. My dad was his own enemy. He fought for years to kick the drug habit, and just didn’t work out. My dad had been using most of my life.. so for almost 25+ years.

This is the second time he overdosed with heroine.

This happens maybe 5 or so years ago. He was somehow revived with some counter drug. For most the years he’d be using drugs, he used crack. After that time, he made vows to get straight. Vows he’d made all my life.

 

I truly loved my dad. With all the shit we’ve been through, I never stopped loving him. When I forgave him, it was like we had a fresh new relationship. I never looked back on the bad and I just hoped that he would get himself together. It worked out a little differently than I wanted it to be.

 

Forgiveness is the word for the year.

 

OLSW

Come on 2013, This month sucks..

Friday, December 14th.. was a fucked up day.

In my lifetime, I’ve never known of so many kids to be killed like what happened in Connecticut. Its still surreal.

I’m sitting at work, reading about all the news.. trying to piece together whats really happening and not. My lead comes up to me like “We got a meeting, grab ya phone just in case” This aint good at all.

To cut it short, Friday was my last day at that job.

The reason? “We sadly have to cut overhead cost..”. Yeah.. ok. So I’m sitting in this room with my fuckshit lead and the COO as they give me the “Im sorry, but” talk… really not believing any of this shit.

IT’S FUCKING DECEMBER, CHRISTMAS IS AROUND THE FUCKING CORNER!

I’ve complained lately how the management was shot to shit and I wanted to leave come spring. I really didn’t feel the heat coming this soon. I’m certain that the crew my lead kept near her.. is still working. Yeah… cards just landed kinda fucked up.

Dah well. Shit happens. Can’t be sitting around wondering why it happened to me. This happened to me close to 4 years ago. I was definitely not prepared and went almost 2 years before finding a gig. I’d admit.. I wasn’t looking as best as I could. I didn’t have a  car at the time.. so it was real rough.

Is there a bright side? Eh, not really. It’s never a good time to be let go from a job, especially when you didn’t have a plan on whats next. I’m certain I’ll be off until January sometime. until then.. I’ll have my resume ready on Monday and start applying. Christmas break came a little early. I’ll for sure make the most of it.

It’s hard to complain about things when it was a mass killing of children that happened the same day. Which is why I did try to tweet about it. Just wasn’t the time. Prayers to the families that lost loves one.

Wish me luck

OLSW

Losing my V

Ok, here goes it.

Growing up..anywhere from about 12 on up.. boys are always lying on their dick. Saying what chicks they done boned.. ect. When in reality.. most boys just done “hunched with their clothes on”..or just jacked off. I got close a few times.. but i really didn’t lose the V until a month after i turned 18. It would have happened like 4 years earlier.. but i got scared, and couldn’t get a hard on. Yeah..

So, it was this chick in the projects (where i lived too).. about my age.. that was crushing on me hard. I brushed it off. I mean.. i was good at that. Cant be showing feelings #Nshit.
She had a kid already.. so she was.. seasoned. So after plenty advances from her, I finally said i’d go through with it. Fuck it.. literally. She was babysitting over her older brother house, and told me to come by. I ask my moms for the van, and dipped.

I get over there.. and shes chillin on the couch,watching tv, drinking. It was some Barcadi. I wasn’t really into drinking then…. but i sip anyways. After about an hour of silent tv watching, she invites me into the basement. Junky ass basement by the way.. but thats another story. Its dark as fuck. Its a make shift bed..on the floor.

Guessing they said ‘fuck a bed frame’..but whatever. But the time I get down there though.. she’s already naked. Nigga.. her tittays were so got damned big.. shit..I can see her nipples from the glow of the radio screen flashing. I get in the bed.. still fully clothed.. shes like “you gonna take them clothes off?”. I strip down to my beater and socks. Now i see where i get that outfit from..

So i start unwrapping this condom. First time..i get it wrong.. it wont open up. wrong side. Its hard only using the radio glow for light. She’s laying on her back, legs open. I feel for the entry.. and its a slippery slope.. for real.

I push in. My split second thought was “damn, im in this shit!”

I started pumping like i just did time. I guess i did do 18 years.

That was the quickest 45 seconds.. ever.

So responsible thoughts kick in right after. I get up scared. Thinking like “fuck, what if the condom leaked??”. She gives me a rag.. and i go to the bathroom.. cleaning off the thang. heart beating fast. I come back down there.. she’s like “why are you trippin? You had on a condom.. you straight.”. I ask her “you sure?” All this shows i wasn’t ready for sex. At all. I start getting dressed. I tell her ” i gotta go.. gotta take my moms van back”. She walks me to the door. with this smile on her face. I open the door, and she says “Damn, i cant get a hug?” I give her the quickest church hug ever, and i dipped.

And that my friends.. its how i lost my virginity.. to a young hoe.

An Uncle’s Love

As most people know.. my Saturdays are locked in to me watching Marcus play football.

Most people that know me also know that my nephew means the world to me. I still remember when my sister told me that she was pregnant. I didnt believe her.

The day Shanae went into labor, my girlfriend at the time and myself headed to the hospital. As the hours past, we both were sleep waiting around. The GF had to work in the am, so we left. I told my mom to call me when she was close to delivery, and i’d come back up to the hospital. The next morning, I call my mom to find out how far along my sister was, and she says “oh shit Otis, Marcus is here already, we’re sorry”. I was pissed. I really wanted to be there. I didn’t really want to actually see the birth.. but I just wanted to be in the building.

I remember the first time I watched Marcus away from my mom’s house. He was less than a year old, but not sure of his exact age. Listen.. when I tell you this kid cried the whole time..the WHOLE TIME. I just didn’t know what to do. My GF at the time didn’t know what to do either.

Me and my nephew have one of the worst things in common. Which is, our dads wasnt in the picture. For the live of me.. I can’t understand why a man wouldn’t want to be in their son’s life. It really amazes me. What I have been doing and will continue to is do be in his life just like my uncles were in my life. It’s no replacement of a father… but its a man presence that boys need. When I was younger, i had coaches that were great male role models. Now that Marcus is playing sports, I hope that the coaches in his life serve a good role models. If not, i’ll still be around.

This past weekend, Marcus scared all of us. He was sick a few weeks ago, and ever since then he’s been using an inhaler for his asthma. he communicates to his coached by tapping his hand on his helmet to let them know he needs a break. When he gets to the sideline, he starts crying saying his chest hurts. So naturally.. i get misty eyed, because I hate to see Marcus not happy in any capacity. He sits for a while and him and I talk since he didn’t wanna talk to anyone else. I explain to him that he needs to let us know sooner when he gets tired so he doesn’t lose his breath. I also told him his health is far more important than him playing in the game. Marcus normally plays the whole came. He’s the quarterback, he plays defense and he’s the kicker, so he knows that his team depends on him a lot.

Marcus shook it off and felt better relatively soon and went back in the game. He only played a few more plays before coming to the sideline since they were winning. Later on..after the game, he was fine.. laughing and playing with the kids.

For that moment when Marcus was crying and we were talking.. my heart felt for him. I dont know the feeling that a parent has for their child.. but what i DO know is that the feelings and love and concern I have for him is grand. My uncles definitely loved me.. But i feel that my love for Marcus is stronger. I treat him as my own child..and will continue that. I feel thats how its suppose to be.

Marcus has his last regular season game this weekend. And i’ll be there.. as always.

OLSW

A Dying Breed

Reblogged from O Bee Knowin':

The dying breed that I want to talk about is Humble Man/Woman. ..Where are they?? It seems that no matter where I look…read…watch..overhear…seems like the world is tooting their own horn…that’s right, the arrogant, cocky, always bragging…….Human. Guess im just tired of hearing a person boasts about what they are great at doing. What a person’s “bests” are. How their shit poo poo smells better than the next.

Read more… 266 more words

Blast From The Past: 12/20/08 "A Dying Breed"

Fingers To The Keyboard

 

Where to begin…

The picture above is the perfect example of what i think about when I think about my blog. My last post was in February. I can say that its not like it used to be.

Life isnt what it used to be.

Things have been definitely heading toward the right direction. Although I sometimes question what direction is “right”…. i know whatever im doing, it has to be for the better, and not otherwise.

As as recent, i’ve been taking inventory of all the relationships I have. I know that all relationships have seasons. Some long & some short. They key to that is knowing which is which, and acting accordingly.

Dealings with my immediate family has been.. interesting. With my brother..i struggle the most. I’m constantly giving him advice, hoping that one day he’ll just grow the fuck up one morning and just act right. But for now.. the things i tell him don’t register, and he just sees me as an ATM machine.

My dad is back in rehab. Only the heavens know how this will turn out. Its hard to keep a constant relationship with someone like that. You just dont know when you’ll hear from them… or know if the last time was the last. I pray for him.. it hopes that this time is the last. He’s been on drugs for 32 years. Yeah..he’s had a habit as long as I been around. The sad part is that he’s had more of a relationship with the drugs in those 32 years than he has with me.

Work is well… work. It will be a year hired come August 1st (year 6 months total). Im happy with my progress at the jobby job. The other day.. 2 black folks got hired. That brings the negro total to….3.

The last month has been a struggle. Been dealing with personal things and its been emotionally and financially draining. I haven’t had the best attitude during all this. I just wanna thank the special folks around me for helping me when i needed it most.

 

 

OLSW

I Got The Juice Now

A couple of weeks ago, my best friend told me about a documentary called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.  And that he started doing the juicing cleanse that the guy from the movie was doing. In the movie, Joe challenges folks to do a 10 day juicing diet.. which consists of juicing (using a juice extractor) fruits and veggies for all your meals.. and only drinking water.

I was instantly intrigued.  curious as to how can someone  survive off of juiced fruits and veggies only .

Around day 5 of my best friends juicing, i stopped by to check out his juicer. He made a decent green machine, and it didn’t taste too bad. From that moment, I decided that I would give the 10 day challenge a try. 

I went out, grabbed a juicer, veggies and fruits in one day, which was a sunday.  I ate good that day too.. being that it was gonna be my last real meal until the end of the juicing challenge. Had ribs for lunch, and a good ole soul food dinner at my pops house.

Day 1 was ok. Folks at work didnt really understand why i was even doing it, even when I explained the documentary. Most saw it as a weight loss gimmick. I didnt really stick to any certain recipes during the duration of the juicing. I was just randomly making juices, and they were tasting great. obviously, the ones with more fruit tend to taste better. But since alot of fruit has hella sugar in them, i had to get my veggies in as well. Carrots and celery, and spinach were my favorites. Beets.. not soo much.

As the days continued, I had my struggles. Its not normal to NOT chew your food. Interesting thing is that I was losing weight like crazy. By day 5,  I had lost about 13 lbs. Which,  seemed good.. and from what i’ve heard, was alot of weight lost from only 5 days. But the shitty part about this was that i had constant headaches from day 1, up through day 5. Folks were saying it could have been a number of things: Not enough water.. my body detoxing.. too many fruits with my juicing.

Friday night was awful.. and i had enough. I needed to eat.

I  went to a Lebanese joint near me and had broiled chicken and rice… and some lentil soup.. OMG, that was the greatest of all time! From some readings.. I should have eased my way back into real foods.. just starting with fruits and veggies. But the chicken didnt bother me too much. Oddly enough, when i started back eating.. the headaches stopped. lol

What REALLY irritated me, was that once i started doing this juicing diet.. EVERYONE wants to become a nutritionist.

“Thats not healthy”

“Where are you getting your fiber”

“Its just water weight”

“Its easy for guys to lose weight”

It wasnt like I lived a totally healthy lifestyle prior to that. But for the most part, nigs surely wasnt telling “Hey O, dont get that bar today”, or “dont eat too much sushi” or any of that mess. But when i started the juicing.. man..

I enjoyed the benefits of juicing. But i know going back to the real world of eating, i would have to change alot of my eating habits to maintain a better lifestyle. I had lost about 13 lbs at day 5.. but I KNEW that wouldnt last going back to eating. I did decide that i wanted to eat better. I havent had pop since before i started. I havent had coffee either. AND i havent had alcohol yet. I will continue to juice.. either making them or buying them. Im prolly gonna be blending fruit & veggie drinks too.

The juicing cleanse was just the beginning. Now, that im eating food again.. this is that hard part. Not going back to what i used to constantly eat will be a struggle. But, with anything, you put effort into things that you want to do. I wanna be more healthy. I wanna shape up this body of mines. And i wanna live longer.

Would i suggest folks to watch the documentary? Yes

Would i suggesting doing the juicing challenge for 3, 5, or 10 days? Yes

Or, just do you..

OLSW